Page 13

Abuse and bruised spirits are like tree leaves - always dying and coming back in the spring stronger and freshly healed from the long winter. A long hurting child hood is the same - only different types of abuse.

New leaves. New beginnings. New future.

For if we were dying on our death beds, our past, our bruised spirits and the things we feel and let control our lives as we feel like constant victms would seem like nothing.

Those feelings control our life and control our pain. We must control our pain or the pain will control us. But if you were hanging on to your last breath, these things would be gone and free. Then all we would want is to live and move on. We would see that these things and feelings, even though they are real and hurt, aren’t life. In the future, live as if you have been givin a second chance at life. We all have second chances every day of our lives and we don’t even see it.

Why? It’s easy to stay in our own little safe world where we know we are safe and we know what to expect, even though we’re walking around in a coma; not loving and feeling enough to take a chance of getting hurt. We only love and live just anough to let us tell ourselves ‘ok, we’re normal’ or ‘we’re ok. See, they hurt me’ or ‘No, this isn’t going to work out any way’. We’re all playing a little “Catch Me If You Can” in real life.

As we walk though life (wow - that sounds like a song) when, and if, spirits connect, please reach out and let’s help learn. Teach and help others to grow and be stronger people.

We all are weak. Sex will be what we are attracted to (we think), but really our bruised spirits are in a comfort zone and safe. Our pain is comfort and even though we can act out love, sex and dating, it will not work unless the souls and spirits are connected in a serious friendship of helping each other heal and grow together as lovers or as friends.

So many times bruised spirits connect and feel safe. We’ll have sex, and then go through the motions of pushing each other away; testing each other, playing catch me if you can - knowing all along that it’s not going to work out. Only to have it end with you treating the person you just had sex with or a short dating with like shit. We’re going to treat the new person just like the last person we had sex with or we dated treated us.

It’s just a constant bullshit game we play and we don’t even know it. We just keep walking though life, treating people as we were treated, and bullshitting ourselves and each other. If you are ten, you have ten years of bullshit in your brain’s hard drive If you’re 22 or 50 - no matter what your age - you have your age in years of bullshit.

See, the brain is like a CD or hard drive or floppy disk in your computer. It only knows and sees what you put on it. We only know what we live and see.

Put a dog on a twenty foot chain out back for couple years, then say “Wow, I love my dog. I’m going to get a thirty foot chain let him have some extra running space”. Guess what? For a few weeks the dog will still stop at the twenty foot spot where the grass is worn down - I’ll bet you he will even jerk his head back like hes on a 20 foot chain when hes got an extra 10 feet now. Like us and our computer and cds, he only know what he lives and sees. So, like the dog, we need new things in our lives to put on the floppy disc in our heads.

Grow, teach, learn.

Love like you’ve never been hurt.

Dance like no one’s watching.

Live like it’s the last day of your life.

Please reach out to me and others. There is so much pain and hurt and emptiness in this world. We all need to know we’re important and that someone cares about us.

November 4th
5:44 am
Frank Medley
Page 13 in my book.